That's not what I ordered...

I get emotional every time I think about those words. I’ve waited to type them for months.

May 20th I sat in front of my Dr. while he told me that my life was about to take a detour. I knew from the phone call that it wasn’t good.

Today, November 2nd, I sat there while he told me I was done.

This was my last treatment. 12 of 12.

12 visits every 2 weeks where I knew walking in that I was about to get my ass kicked. I’d go home and vomit, hate the smell of food. Not wanting people to even touch me or hug me.

But I made it. With your help.

You can call me crazy, or call me stupid…but this whole blaming thing worked. The power of positive energy, the power of distraction, the power of community, the power of support, the power of love. It worked. It made my cancer go away for good.

Treatment alone wasn’t enough, I firmly believe that. There were moments where I could literally feel myself being pulled into depression. Moments that I didn’t want to do this shit anymore. Moments that I was ready to pack it in, never talk to anyone again and be pathetic.

But you wouldn’t let me.

14,077 People Have Blamed my cancer for 34,123 Things.

Fourteen THOUSAND. How many of those people do I actually know? Maybe a few hundred. How amazing is that? 34,123 times, the word cancer was spoken out loud and in a very public place on Twitter.

Cancer can’t hide anymore, we’ve made sure of that. We’ve got to keep the good work going.

I need a vacation badly, just some time to unwind and heal. But our organization Blame Cancer is entering the phases of reality. All of you are helping us form it and shape it.

I just got home from chemo but I wanted to write this and say thank you from the bottom of my heart. For everything.

Cancer has no idea how in trouble it is. Ya see, in 2 weeks, I don’t have to get chemo…so that means my body and brain will be healed that much more. And I’ll recover from the chemo brain and the aches and pains. And I’ll get closer to 100%. We kicked cancers ass while I was about 40%, imagine what we’ll do now.

It’s good to be alive, and it’s good to have all of you as friends.

I love you.


PS. In the coming days/weeks I’ll be personally thanking all of you. It’s time for me to rest up a bit.


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3 коммент.:


3 ноября 2009 г., 17:30

Feel free to copy a few sentences of a post as long as you link back to me. I'm admin at quirky momma.


3 ноября 2009 г., 19:38

please in quotes, thank you for permission before doing so. Mapuc


3 ноября 2009 г., 20:59

You can copy in my blog as well as long as you include my link...